welcome to my blog
this is my personal blog. that will be not too personal, but still pretty personal, so like, be warned.
this is my personal blog. that will be not too personal, but still pretty personal, so like, be warned.
Had to take my orange cat to the vet today. last night he was drooling like crazy and his mouth was swelling like he had a tooth infection. I think I may have paid $300 to have them tell me he has a canker sore, but it's better than the alternative, which she said could be cancer. But that it doesnt really LOOK like any of the cancer she's seen, but she also has really only seen it at it's worst. But that its common for old cats to get cancer under the tongue??? I guess??? which sounds horrible and I have never heard that in entire life of being a literal lifetime cat owner. But ok. But also the swelling went down by this morning, he still is eating normal like its not too painful. My poor man is only turning 16 this year. He has to make it 4.5 more years to when I hit 40, and then he can start to get old. But he's gotta make it to 40 with me. I was literally 19 when I got him. But I have literally no fear or anxiety about it, so I really don't think its anything. it just looked like, what she said, like a canker sore in a person's mouth. I don't even think it looked that bad, it wasn't red or anything. So hopefully he just had an irritation, but jfc i was a wreck last night. I tried to update here and I just could NOT conentrate on anything other than my goose. He's too good for pain. He's the best goose. like if its not one thing, its a-fucking-nother. here's hoping it disappears and hes cleared on his next follow up visit. My poor baby man :(
Yesterday I was told I smell like mold. She asked if we were ok. We're really not, but what are we supposed to do about it right now? The house was our only option at the time, especially given the time frame we had to leave the other place. And now I smell like mold bc there is mold on literally everything if it sets too long in there. Stuff that should not be moldy is getting mold. Part of the reason i dont want to sleep in the bedroom anymore is im just terrified of all the mold. the walls in there weep for some unknown ungodly reason, and im just scared my whole bed is nothing but mold at this point bc i havent slept on it in awhile since my husband got sick/disabled. I'm getting close to my wits end. Like I started the stupid generator this morning and just laughed to myself like wtf am i doing what is my life right now how did this HAPPEN to me? I'm just broken. And I smell like mold, and smelling is one of my biggest fears like please do not think i stink that is horrible. I just want to live somewhere safe. I thought our last place had bad mold, but this is ridiculous. However I think this is better mold than the mold in the old house bc im 10000% sure it was black mold and the landlords just did not care. But this house has just been closed up for 5 years and never really cleaned before that. Except for where the dead body was. Because yeah, someone died in the bedroom. Another reason im not so keen to be in there. He didn't die of the house (well, maybe he did but it was most definitely his alcoholism and nonfunctioning kidneys since he died on his dialysis machine that was not working right apparantly.) Its just not at all a fun house and I want out.
What a fricken day. what a life, honestly. and really why did i think extra long nails was a good idea when im so into this rn... whatever. i had to fix my generator that we just got, that came with smashed parts from a fork lift accident. Took way longer than it should have, but once i figured out what the actual issue was, it went a lot smoother. and then my MIL bought a cell phone (her first smart phone, and first cell in YEARS.). so she got the phone and husband (DH is forum shorthand for doting husband btw, and i will be using that as it is faster with these damn nails...i say while still typing probably 75wpm minimum lmao) start trying to set up the phone. DH is my age, born 87, so he's not like, elderly like his old lady mom, but neither of them could figure anything out. anyway, i finally just call the customer service, turns out, walmart never released the inventory, so its like the phone was never sold. bigger problem is that the closest walmart/where we got it, is over an hour away. BUT the walmart customer service lady was fantastic honestly, and she gave my MIL her money back and said we didnt have to return the phone???? I mean it was $35, it wasn't anything fancy, just something for while shes away for awhile, she'd have a phone. so now they have to drive an hour to get this phone to activate, negating that $35 she got back lol. honestly we started everything at 10ish????? and i also took a shower at my parents' house and hung out with my dad for an hour all together, ate dinner for a minute, and its 7pm and im finally super ripped and DONE. my brain is FRIED. I just want to make more piccrews and whatnot for my about me that is going to be 80 feet long and im so excited.